i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
