You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
