oh god the rape fog is back!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
