it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
