the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
