mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Someone signed my nipple.
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