i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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