I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
