The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Need sex. Gaining weight.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
