OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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