Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
