This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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