...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we have officially lost it.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
