I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
