I just made out with a guy for $7.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Randomize
