trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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