also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
there was a trapeze. enough said
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
