i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He passed out mid-signature
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just invented taco cereal.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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