phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
