I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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