Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
