just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
