I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
