Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
