the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
