I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
