I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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