batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
