apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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