You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
