it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
