Kiss
Puke
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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