Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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