I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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