Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
