I think im going to throw up on grandma
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
