apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
