Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
