I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
