sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
