R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
