it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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