Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
