You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Duck Duck Cougar?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
