The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
