and you said cock pushups were impossible
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We had sex on a dog bed..
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
