He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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