At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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