Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
