What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
